From Broken to Restored

Rose Erwin

My name is Rose and I am a woman with a purpose. I was rejected by both my biological Father and Mother. I never met my Father and I was taken from my mother from DCFS while I was yet an infant. Life for me as a child was not an easy one but no matter what, I was a survivor through it all. I was out on my own at the age of 16. I dropped out of high school and started raising myself. When I was at the age of 23 I had given my life to the Lord and I knew I had a call on my life and that it would be to help women but I didn’t know to what extent. After about 11 years of serving Him, even in the ministry I fell away and backslid. I ran from God and my calling. I believed the lies of the enemy that I would never be good enough.

Because of that I endured much pain and heartache. I was in and out of relationships that brought a lot of pain and abuse into my life while searching for love. I searched for real love ever since I was a little girl and on into my adulthood yet all i found was more and more abuse. I had never experienced true unconditional love from anyone so I was accepting anything that was close to it even when I knew inside it was not real nor was it healthy. I was allowing men to use me, lie to me, cheat on me, abuse me in all sorts of ways and I would even take the blame for their behaviors. I felt as if it was what I deserved for running from the Lord. I wanted to be loved so badly that I was accepting people into my life whose intentions were no good for me. I figured since no one in my life had ever really wanted me I might as well just accept what I could get. By the time the world was done with me my heart was in pieces. I had finally fell into severe depression and I had decided to end my life. I had my suicide all planned out. One night in my bedroom I cried out to God because the pain became too great. I asked Him to forgive me for what I was about to do, but that I just could not go on living in the pain any longer.

My burden and my broken heart was too much for me to carry. Jesus manifested His presence in my room that night. I did not see him with my eyes but I felt him pick me up into his arms and He held me and He said these words over and over again to me, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you…… the thing that I needed the most, Jesus told me that night, in which told me He understood what I was looking for all along and He wanted me to know I already was loved the whole time I was searching for it. I knelt before Him and I asked God for His forgiveness and to come back into my life. After coming back to the Lord, I made Him a promise that I would not run from Him again and that I would answer the call on my life. It was later prophesied over me that God was going to use my testimony and what I had been through to deliver many women who have been entrapped by seeking love in all the wrong ways and have suffered emotional and physical abuse. God has laid on my heart and has given me a desire and compassion to see women removed from abusive relationships and to lead them to the one who can restore & heal them, Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. It is my mission that God alone has given me to teach women about their worth and how much God loves them. What I went through was not for me but God allowed me to go through it in order for me to fulfill the purpose and call He has on my life.

God has changed my life drastically! I went from being a high school drop out to a Payroll accountant today, so do not ever think God can’t change your whole life around. I am fully His now and I long just as He does for his prodigal daughters to come back home. Now I am currently working on my first book and I am excited to be working with the Holy Spirit as He instructs me and gives me the words to write. To God be the glory for He was with me from the very beginning. He delivered me, set me free and saved me from a world of destruction. I gave Him every reason to hate me yet His love remained. I am thankful for the compassion He bestowed upon me.🕇💪🏽🔥🔥🔥