For I would that all men were even as I myself. But every man hath his proper gift of God, one after this manner, and another after that”–1 Corinthians 7:7
Much of my life has been spent as a single man but the few personal relationships that I have been in, while they did not end well, taught me something significant about relationships but more importantly, they taught me about the importance of Christ. Sadly, the first few relationships that I was committed to did not involve Christ and eventually, the absence of Christ would become obvious as the absence would become a void in my life.
Scripture tells us that two are better than one “Two are better than one; because they have a good reward for their labour” (Ecclesiastes 4:9). However, with that said, we must remember that a Godly relationship is the best relationship that anyone can have. From personal experience, I know the hardship of trying to fill a spiritual void. As hard as one may try, it cannot be done as the void will always be there regardless of what you may find.
Although being single can be difficult, being in a relationship without God is one of the most difficult relationships one will ever experience. Unfortunately, too many people enter into a relationship because they no longer want to be single and do so regardless of the consequences. As I found out, being in the wrong relationship can, indeed, cause more than just a few problems but can cause one to be unhappy, depressed, uncertain of the future, self-conscience and so on. In other words, we must look much deeper before entering into a relationship as they have a real influence on the life we live.
It took me a long time before finding a relationship where Christ was involved and forefront. Sadly, from the past relationships, the scars that were left were not only real but they were deep. For a long time, trust was not something that I had and the dangerous mindset of all being one in the same set in. This is a very toxic mindset and consumes more than just the relationship but consumes your mind, body, and soul. This perception played its way into all aspects of life and made living seem like an inconvenient burden.
What I have learned is that living single is much better than losing your peace of mind and heart. A relationship with God is one of the strongest aspects to a person’s life and is worth waiting on. Today, many people jump into a relationship after relationship without realizing the damage that it is causing. What I have learned is that not everyone you meet is right for you. In fact, there is only one person in this entire world that is right so waiting for this person is essential and once we have accepted this and applied it to our lives, the search can then begin.
Another lesson that I learned in my single years is that being single does not have to be bad. It gives us time to enjoy the life that we have been given and seeing things from a different perspective. Yes, marriage is a great thing and should be the intentions of a real relationship but sadly, there are many other agendas add motives that people have for being in the relationship that it takes all credibility all. For example, many people enter into a relationship for physical pleasure rather than fondness and devotion to another person and just like another else, physical pleasure will dry up then what is the relationship left with?
There are many reasons for wanting to be in a relationship but if God is not involved and love is absent, all hope is lost. All relationships will go through difficult times but devotion and commitment will get any true loving couple through the darkest of times. Above all else, when God is involved in a relationship between two people, nothing the enemy can do can tear the two apart as God makes all things possible despite the odds. When these two factors are center, the couple is unstoppable as they have the love of God to guide them but also, the love for one another to keep them going through any storm that may come up.
Set your affection on things above, not on things on the earth.”—Colossians 3:2