Kristine Cucinotta Murphy
Last week, all of the witnesses and I that are going to take the stand were sitting in the waiting room while court was in session. A relative knows of my OCD and how I had put it to good use at a time in my life of need. I started and ran my own housekeeping service, which since I married stepped down from. Now, she knows I am living in her area, she mentions wanting to hire me to help her in her home. I told her okay and we would discuss it later. Then she asked me a question that I didn’t have an answer for and has stayed with me ever since.
First, she asked me “How do you stay so neat?” I laughed and told her, “I wasn’t always that way. But, it takes time, dedication and discipline.” Quietly, I was thinking on how, when and why my OCD kicked in. I was in a difficult time in my life, needing God’s peace. To keep my mind off of things, I started cleaning, organizing and getting things in order. Since my life was so out of order, it brought a comfort I could get things where they belong that were in my control and ability to. My situation and everyone else around me, I couldn’t control nor get order from, so it brought me a sense of joy and love; an honor that God gave me something I could get in order and be responsible for; me and my house. And, then able to extend that discipline and drive in a service to help others get their homes in order and clean. All of this goes beyond the physical into the spiritual realm. Those who have ears let him hear.
My spiritual and physical life was coming together, running side by side like a set of railroad tracks. Every part of our physical life is a parable to our spiritual life and a manifestation of. I compare both lives, they both need the same things to be orderly: time, dedication and discipline. As I am keeping my mind off of my troubles by focusing on getting things in order physically, I gain such an overwhelming peace. Just like our spiritual lives, God’s word tells us to focus on the things above, the things we do have; love, joy and peace in God as well as the prize, our reward in Heaven. Not, our dislikes, discomforts or troubles. Hand to the plough, no turning back. Putting on the yoke of the Lord, obeying His commands and being under his divine order.
Though, cleaning and organizing can be hard work, time consuming and a tedious task. I saw how much it grows my patience at times. I hear and feel myself want to just stop and give up. “I am so done with this, it’s taking longer than I anticipated”, I would say to myself, but then I would see how much I have already done, telling myself “Not that much more to go, I can do this.” My mind focused back on getting things finished and see the end result of clean and orderly, nice and neat, everything where it needs to be, being functional, and running smoothly; a well-oiled machine. No stress, no chaos, sanitary and a healthy environment, as well as whatever I need is easily and quickly found. A challenge conquered! Having a comfortable place to relax, rest, live and dwell in.
But, the question she asked me, that I could not answer and still on my mind was, “How do you rub it off onto someone else?” I seriously didn’t have an immediate answer, desiring an answer; knowing so many people I would love nothing more than to rub it off onto but, I said “I don’t know?”
It’s that peace. Until someone desires nothing but perfect peace from God “and” willing to do whatever it takes to get it, willing to lose it all, willing to obey and trust God fully by mere faith. When one has not experienced unsurpassed peace by God’s grace, one cannot be dedicated and motivated enough to stay in God’s will to receive it and keep in God’s order to continue receiving it. I whole heartedly believe, you can’t rub it off onto someone else. Only God can bring us to that breaking point, that true desire to fall on our face and knees, crying for nothing but God’s peace and order. Crying out, take it all away, nothing I want, nothing I seek, nothing I need but your perfect peace O GOD, to just be in your presence. Only God can bring us to that brokenness, to fill our hearts and minds with what they were created for that moment where heaven collides with earth. When the Holy Ghost and Fire come down like a dove to clean and put in order our home; our heart, mind and soul for him to live in and dwell.
Once we get that perfect peace, can we lose it? We sure can. We get distracted, we get busy, we let our feelings get in the way, we get side-tracked, we fall into temptations, we take matters in our own hands and wear ourselves too thin doing other things that are not as important. All of these things, the enemy loves nothing more than for us to get caught up in. God’s word tells us there will be a great falling away. Before we know it, our priorities get out of order and it slowly and steadily starts to show in our lives, our relationships, our homes and our job, they all start to deteriorate. Gratitude turns into ungratefulness, joy turns to bitterness and love turns to shattering hate. The spirits clash, people begin to fight each other, no longer fighting together.
And, prayerfully then we are so lost in need of help, all alone, nowhere to turn, we break again, and find ourselves back on our face and knees in brokenness, crushed back to dust for Our Potter to get us wet by His Holy Living Water to mold us again; a vessel sold out even more for Him. Remembering, we are not our own, having been blood bought. Every time we break, the softer we become, more contrite we become at the mercy of Our Creator’s hand to renew and restore us again.
When our minds and hearts exhaust in trying to keep up, our minds get cluttered and hearts unclean. We find every aspect in our lives a chaotic mess and unsanitary because, we neglected to keep ourselves up and in God’s order. We took our hands off of the plough and looked back to do things in our own will and ways rather than God’s will and way. We stopped disciplining ourselves to what God has called us to do, we stopped daily seeking God to search and clean our hearts and our homes and do what He says to do, being deceived we think we know better than God. We unhitch ourselves from His yoke. Blinded by running wild in busyness rather than being about our Father’s business. We get impatient and lose our focus on the goal; order that brings perfect peace, a conquered quest, a satisfaction and fulfillment in our heart, in perfect alignment with God, having a heavenly heart and mindset goal; Obtainable and unsurpassable peace right where we are before even being in heaven. Let us not forget, our sole purpose to be at one in stillness with God to be able to be at one in stillness with those around us in one mind, one body and one spirit. That is true intimacy at a level no one can reach without God and His perfect peace.
His yoke is easy and burden is light
Joy comes in the morning and peace at night
Priorities kept in perfect order and discipline for drive
A comfort, all secure, a Love that continues to thrive
Come; sit with me for a moment without having to say a word
Come; worship with me in stillness, the assurance of the Lord
Slow down and rest in the green pasture
Embrace the silence, the calm of the still water
Focus to be kept, others to remind us
Pick up your cross and follow Jesus
This isn’t a competition, but a calling
To check our focus to keeping us from falling
To stop and give God reverence
To sit with one another, and enjoy their presence
Tearing down grudges to cross over into forgiveness
A time to build a wall of protection around God’s holy city
A life lived in discipline, order, obedience and humility
Praying to never cease
All for that perfect peace