Reservations

Kristine Cucinotta Murphy

We are exhausted, body hurts all over, cramped up and no real rest. Scruffy and scroungy. Hearing mine husband only want electricity for me to cut and groom his head with the clippers that are buried, bagged and taped up in trash bags somewhere under the tarped bed of the truck. Rain keeps falling from the clouds, just gotta leave everything tarped up. I been literally in tears weeping here and there.

Yet, mine husband just wanted to take me out on the town to eat a feast at a buffet restaurant and have fun with me, his wife. I on the other hand, feeling grimy, dingy, grubby, grungy, raunchy, dirty, soiled, unclean, filthy and just not hungry but more sick to my stomach. Feeling ready to lose it, tears race down my face to not explode in anger but take it in humility. I open my Bible app to read and he upsets he can’t have fun without me, in disapproval of my discontent that is clearly shown on my face and sharp answers. I humilate him in public and walk out and leave him sitting there to not bicker and argue.

Oh, the struggles of our ups and downs and not being on the same page at the same time. Weep with those who weep and rejoice with those who rejoice -now what! One of us rejoices, the other weeps. But, we were warned marriage will have many troubles.

1 Corinthians 7:28
But and if thou marry, thou hast not sinned; and if a virgin marry, she hath not sinned. Nevertheless such shall have trouble in the flesh: but I spare you.

Things started to escalade each other having their own desires and needs not being filled, one wanting attention, the other wanting to be left alone. Unsatisfied and not getting what we want from the other. Both of us being pushed past our limits, the one thing we do successfully accomplish to do at the same time. This undoubtedly will cause much fighting if we don’t stop and submit to the Spirit of God Most High.

Grateful for a brother in Christ to coach us through, during these times. It doesn’t bother me to share this, and if it ever starts to bother mine husband and I to share our experiences I pray God make our pride known. We know we can’t do this alone and we admittingly and rawfully share what is real.

2 Corinthians 12:9
And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.

Grateful for what we have, a truck to sleep in and drive around in, but that doesn’t stop the toll on our physical bodies. Not showering in over a week. Bird baths and baby wipes in public restrooms. Already prone to viruses and infections with my body’s condition and now in unsanitary conditions. Imagining myself small enough to stand under that spout of rushing water in the sink like a waterfall rushing off a high cliff mountain.

Smaller oh yes, smaller everyday in humility, not having access to such luxuries.

Matthew 26:41
Watch and pray, that ye enter not into temptation: the spirit indeed is willing, but the flesh is weak.

Today, a storm is arriving, severe thunderstorms, heavy rains of possible flooding, damaging winds, hail and possible tornadoes bringing a cold front behind it.

Reserved, a couple nights of relief in a room to rest and refresh starts at 2pm.

When there is a storm, rest and refresh in the LORD. (Exodus 14:14 Exodus 14:14 The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace )

Thank you God for pushing us this far, even as painful as it is and for knowing our needs, always on time, both of us about to fall out and he still has to work.

Thank you for all those praying and encouraging us through, bless them 100 fold.

Thank you God, for allowing mine husband the ability to work to provide through your hands, through his, to mine. May you bless him exceedingly.

Behold, the LORD’S hand is not shortened, that it cannot save; neither his ear heavy, that it cannot hear:”

–Isaiah 59:1

Delight thyself also in the LORD; and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart . . . I have been young, and now am old; yet have I not seen the righteous forsaken, nor his seed begging bread.”

–Psalm 37:4, 25

Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be meat in mine house, and prove me now herewith, saith the LORD of hosts, if I will not open you the windows of heaven, and pour you out a blessing, that there shall not be room enough to receive it.”

–Malachi 3:10