Jonelle Maxwell

How many times in our walk have we been so angry that we just wanted to scream! We tried to obey the scripture about forgiveness and loving our enemies, but somehow we just can’t get over what happened to us.

This is the story of many, including myself.

Years ago, I had just lost my Mom and was trying to recover from the grief. Although, life did not stop for me, the enemy still found a way to go for the kill. I experienced cycles of repeated hurt. Words that attacked my character. Also, situations of other professing Believers pretending to be trustworthy revealed secrets about my personal life that was only between me and them. And the list goes on.

I was hurt, angry, and bitterness was starting to take a toil. The hurt was so bad that I started to feel it in my physical body. Every word of the Lord that was given to me was about my hurting heart. I was crushed.

Growing up my mom would always say, “Learn to take a licking and keep on ticking.” However, this is not the case for a born again Believer. We need to stop and allow God to heal our own heart or else we will end up spewing on others by flowing from a bitter stream.

It is important that we do continual examinations of our own heart so we too can say like Jesus, the wicked one has nothing in me. In other words, the enemy will not be able to find a place in our lives that he can run rampant. He will not be able to find something to work with to bring disgrace in our lives or in the lives of others we come into contact with.

You may be thinking no one can reach that point in their faith, however, with God all things are possible. We can if we allow the Holy Spirit to diligently search our hearts.

I was ministering to others in the area of hurt but was not allowing God to heal my own heart. This went on for some time. I remember the Holy Spirit showing me different types of doors that are opened in our lives when we do not forgive and receive healing. Also, during this time, I was given the opportunity to teach my first Wednesday Bible Study class and the topic was on unforgiveness. I was teaching my OWN message.


From that moment I knew the Lord was serious…REALLY SERIOUS!

Eventually, the Lord began to pull me away from certain things to put me on a sabbatical.
However, there were deep wounds that I needed a lot of time to heal from. Some things stemmed from my childhood involving rejection. I began to learn more about what was lurking in my own heart as I allowed God to gently pull the layers off. I realized there were times I was my own hindrance not the enemy or other people. I realized forgiveness is not for others, but it is for me. I had to take responsibility of my own heart whether I was going to be willing to forgive so I can move to my next phase in life and ministry. Or if I was going to be self and sit wallowing in my own pain.

Thankfully, through the grace of God, I chose and choose to forgive and allow God to heal my hurting heart. Even today, I do my diligence to pay attention to my own heart first instead of looking to see the condition of everyone else’s heart. This is not so easy to do; we often can see everyone else’s heart’s condition, but fail to allow the light to be turned on us. We can be so condemning at times.

When we do not allow God to do a work in our heart to bring forth wholeness, we see through a distorted lens.

Being an experienced past camera repair technician, blurry images do not look good when you would like to remember the good times and memories provided by family pictures taken at a family gathering.

This is what God wants us to see. He wants our lens to be clear so we can see how bright our future is in Him. If not, everything will appear cloudy and depressing. Also, everyone around us will appear to look as of they are trying to do us harm when in fact they are there to do us good.

So, this morning, allow God to go deep into those places so you can be singing the song…

Don’t let the devil rain on your day any longer!
Forgive, be healed, so YOU can move on!

You owe it to yourself and those you are called to bring healing to.


*He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.

Psalms 147:3 ESV

*For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive you.
Matthew 6:14;15 ESV

*Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another. forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

Ephesians 4:31-32 ESV

*I will no longer talk much with you, for the ruler of this world is coming. He has no claim on me.

John 14:30 ESV

*Neither give place to the devil.
Ephesians 4:27 KJV

And see if there be any hurtful way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.

Psalms 139:24 NASB

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