WHEN IT REALLY HURT

Jonelle Maxwell

How many times in life have we been told to suck it up or get over it? Unfortunately, these words have left many of us going through life carrying the scars of being wounded. Even to the point of being traumatized by the memory of things that happened to us in our past.

I remember at an early age hearing my Mom’s favorite saying, “Take a licking and keep on ticking.” My Mom had a strength in her that was passed down to my sister and I. We saw my Mom endure adverse situations in her own life, including in her marriage. My Mom was strong until the day she said she was tired. Four days after these words, she passed.

I refuse to allow that to be my story.

Although, my Mom was strong I learned how to balance out life once I totally gave my life to the Lord.

In my younger years, I developed the same strengths my Mom had. After being hurt repeatedly by men and then living a lifestyle of lesbianism for two years, I saw myself going down the same path. THE PATH OF ANGER!

I was hurt, wounded, rejected, and wanted revenge. I wanted it so much that I rarely smiled. Well, when I did smile or laughed it was because I was cracking jokes or getting the best of someone by cussing them out.

JUST LIKE MY MOM!

When I gave my life to the Lord, He delivered me from all those things. However, rejection was still deep within. I still had the mindset of being able to take blows after blows, adversity after after adversity while seeing myself come through each one. But, there was one problem. I had a problem releasing the hurt and wounds to the Lord. I just did not know how. People would minister to me and tell me to just let it go. I knew how to carry the weight of pain while yet moving in life, ministry, relationships, and business. It was not until I was physically abused is when life took a different turn for me.

But before that, the wear and tear began to take place one year when I was traveling, going to school, working a full- time job, doing minstry, helping my family members, and everything else. My physical body was tired. I was only in my mid thirties. I felt sharp pain going down my arm one night that caused me to go get a check up at the hospital. When seeing my primary care doctor, she told me to get rid of all the stress. My doctor also found spots on my uterus…which the Lord healed.

A few years later, I found myself getting back into a relationship with the expectation of marriage that ended in a one time abuse. God ended the relationship Himself. During that time, I experienced trauma. I could not believe something like this could happen to me. I had nobody to turn to but God. This is when I truly learned to give my hurts over to the Lord. Nobody could help me. Some that I trusted told my most personal secrets of what I was going through with people I did not have a relationship with. Which made the situation even more difficult to trust anyone including those that was ministry leaders.

It took God to pull me away from everyone just to go deep in those areas that needed healing and deliverance.

FOR GOD IS FAITHFUL!

I share this because I know many are in the same place I was in. I know you too have been told to take a licking and keep on ticking. Many of us have been carrying the weight of pain, rejection, hurt, disappointments, trauma, and frustrations while still going through life.

This is not God’s will for any of us. He tells us to cast ALL our cares on Him because He cares for us. I Peter 5:7
God want us to know we don’t have to go through life carrying things on our own.

So, whatever you are going through give it over to the Lord. Tell him all about it.

Pray this prayer…

Father, in the name of Jesus, I release all my hurts, disappointments, pain, rejection, and every traumatic situation I have experienced in life to you. Father, I lay it all at your feet and cast it on you as you declared in your word because I know you care for me. Father, I thank you for being a GOOD FATHER and I receive your healing and deliverance in every area of my life. I also forgive those that have hurt me along the way. I release them to you as well. Lord, I thank you for all you are doing and continue to do in my life in the name of Jesus…Amen.”