Kristine Cucinotta Murphy
Recently mine husband had a hard time dealing with us being on separate sleep schedules. Even though I gave him a heads up before he came to marry me, God has me write and when it comes pouring out I have to get up and write. I have to either be up or get up to do so. I’m not a pleasant person when woken up, even when it’s God. There were times I ignored God’s wake up call and even told him no and chose to go back to sleep. I would wake up later knowing and feeling I disobeyed God and missed out on such a privilege and honor to write what God put on my heart so much so, I stay up or get up extra early for my divine precious time with God.
The difficulty is the times God speaks to me. It is always changing like the seasons. When mine husband and I first married, my sleep time matched his schedule. I was up bright and early just before the sun would rise. My day was complete and so was his and we ended it sleeping the night together. But, over time, that wind blew, the season changed. Now, I stay up while he sleeps for my writing.
This tension from mine husband led to much upset between us and I didn’t even know that it was an issue until after I left to stay with a friend for a time of separation. Mine husband told me while we were apart, “I don’t care anymore that we have different sleep schedules, you are suppose to be here with me. ” What mattered most to him is that I am with him even if I am up while he sleeps.
This surprised me not even knowing it was that much of a problem to him. So, when I returned back home with him, I have made it priority to be on his schedule. And, I would, much rather sleep the same time and be with mine husband. My stance to please God fell to only desire to please mine husband, when I discovered it was causing upset.
I have been getting up early and try to write. As I do, headaches split my head in two. I write something but it isn’t that joyous energetic flow of rejuvenated strength nor appointed by God one on one time with him. It’s more like someone barging into their boss’ office without being invited in and pressing the boss to work. Yeah, we all know bosses, that doesn’t fly so well. A boss tells us when and what to do, not the other way around. And, because of this, all week my body has been suffering, spiritually manifesting physically.
I’m more cranky, mine husband is telling me all week that it’s okay I stay up and write, it doesn’t bother him anymore. Yet, I still felt obligated to not let it become an issue again. I still much rather please mine husband now. Today, suffering through more headache and misery, mine husband told me it would please him more if I didn’t suffer and make him suffer with me being cranky and headaches because I am trying to please him more than God.
So, tonight I stay up with that crave, alertness and readiness to write whatever God has me write. Like a kid waiting for that surprise gift from her Father, he said he has for her when he comes home. I even asked mine husband to pray I write something touching others can relate and be encouraged by. He did too and in hopes this does encourage and touch someone.
But, first I had to let go of what was and trust what now is and step out by faith to please God again more than mine husband. It is hard to choose at times. Especially, when God even tells us as wives our desire will be for our own husband. But, ultimately we are to please God and if we aren’t obeying God in what he has called us to do, we will suffer spiritually and it will manifest physically.
God showed both mine husband and I what matters most to us, to appreciate each other even on different sleep schedules that to please God is golden and it’s not worth losing heart, our well-being or each other over. What does it profit to gain the world but lose your soul?
God wins! He wins hearts to be in line with His order and perfect submission to His will and divine purpose for His Kingdom and Glory!
Maybe you and your spouse struggle with something similar to this. And, if you do, ask God what He desires of you but especially ask God what He desires of your spouse. God first.