Kristine Cucinotta Murphy
Proverbs 18:19 A brother offended is harder to be won than a strong city: and their contentions are like the bars of a castle.
It does no good to argue points back and forth amongst ourselves, both will become trapped in that holding cell.
We can’t always feel someone else’s hurt or offence taken. Which means, we can’t always give the empathy one desires.
Mine husband and I deal with this on a daily basis. We want to be heard, we want to be understood, we want to be validated, we want our worth back. And, we found out the hard way, we just can’t please the other, we are too different.
I mentioned to mine husband last night after our video, “The only thing we have in common is God.” Not that, that is a bad thing. We struggled to make things fit exactly the same between us, but we are just created too differently. We desired to hear, relate, understand, empathize and be on the same page to enjoy what the other does at the same time, but we can’t even be serious at the same time nor be silly at the same time. You can see this in our videos. I’m silly, he is serious. Though, in submission to God and his work of mine husband sharing the word and prayer, I still get to be silly. At first my silliness angered mine husband. He would demand and try to enforce his way of how everything went. But, he gave up that fight and just let me be me and let God work in me. He trusted God to guide me when I can laugh or talk during his videos. Two different parts doing different things working together at the same time. And then came the time, I would tell mine husband, ” You don’t understand me!” He responds, ” No, but I love you and that’s what matters.’
We can’t be each other as much as we fought to be. We can’t force someone to be or do what we want, when we want them to be. After much tribulation of great frustrations, fights, separations and failure we both were found flat on our faces weeping at ground zero, before us both stood only God. If all you have is God, you have all you need. We put our trust in the Lord and lean not to our own understanding, nor our timing.
The vital and most important thing above all that we can do at the same time is love each other. And that starts with being patient with each other.
Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 1 Corinthians 13:4-5
The Spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. Our heart and flesh are most certain to fail us and when they do we want justification. We feel cheated, deceived, and broken. We need it fixed immediately, no one desires the stings of our feelings to touch our very heart.
Feelings move us away from our steadfast peace. Fear is born from our feelings, our hurts and it is torment; a stable security is lost in the movement of feelings that can take our eyes off of peace to feel the bashing waves and pounding winds.
And there arose a great storm of wind, and the waves beat into the ship, so that it was now full.
38 And he was in the hinder part of the ship, asleep on a pillow: and they awake him, and say unto him, Master, carest thou not that we perish?
39 And he arose, and rebuked the wind, and said unto the sea, Peace, be still. And the wind ceased, and there was a great calm.
40 And he said unto them, Why are ye so fearful? how is it that ye have no faith?
41 And they feared exceedingly, and said one to another, What manner of man is this, that even the wind and the sea obey him?
I believe there is a good reason God doesn’t allow everyone to be empathetic with us the very moment we must have it. Especially, one who said or done something to move us. So that, we seek first to get our need and worth from the LORD to rely on him always. To, have to discipline ourselves to yeild and be more sensitive to the Holy Spirit, to submit our thoughts and feelings to him, for the Lord to fight for us, to continue to fill us, to be still and mighty as a tree deeply rooted to bear the fruit of the Spirit.
So, we are not tossed to and fro, led astray to be able to continue to walk in the truth and the light of the Spirit of the Living God.
God is always allowing movement, vibration is the very communication and work of God.
John bare witness of him, and cried, saying, This was he of whom I spake, He that cometh after me is preferred before me: for he was before me.
16 And of his fulness have all we received, and grace for grace.
God was before the one that touched your feelings and he is the One that comes after the one that moved your feelings.
When these times arise all we can do is stop, listen and immediately pray. Let God Move!
Philippians 4:6,7 If something bothers you, give it to the Lord in prayer & He’ll give you peace in its place.